


Capri Sons (suns)

by poly_pr1nce



Series: Capri Sons [1]
Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Modern Era, Multi, Other, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Past Abuse, Social Media, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 06:11:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15701454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poly_pr1nce/pseuds/poly_pr1nce
Summary: After Laurent adopted him when he was 12, Nicaise grew up in central London, in a penthouse miles away from the country Manor he had called home since he was 8. But turns out growing up isn't easy when your crush still sees you as a borderline-homeless child with an attitude problem.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So this is co-written by higgins5 on Tumblr  
> Also I'm thinking this is gonna be a 3-part fic with a few chapters per part... not totally sure yet tbh
> 
> Heads up for Nicaise being... Nicaise, Auguste being alive, Damen and Laurent being concerned guardians, Nikandros being oblivious, Jord Lazar and Pallas all being little shits, and some OCs I've thrown in too  
> And it's set in London (sort of) so a whole lot of swearing too

Nicaise looked around the large penthouse. He had been living in Richard's Manor for the last few years, but after he had came clean to Laurent he'd been staying some nights at the penthouse. That had been almost two years ago - since then it had been a constant fight for custody, and more than a few group homes in foster care, before the police and children's services had decided they'd collected enough proof to put Richard in jail; Nicaise had been allowed to spend weekends at Laurent's penthouse during the trial.  
The penthouse looked the same as it had every time before; the bizarrely high ceilings, the floor-to-ceiling windows along the far wall, the leather sofas, settees and footrests. Damen had apparently been banned from having anything to do with the interior design, but Nicaise still noticed things Damen altered which Laurent never would have; the photographs lining the bookcases, all of seasides and cliffs, but a few of city views and scenic nightlife pictures hinted at Laurent's interference again. Clearly Laurent had bought the place and the furniture because it was all far too lavish for Damen to have had any say in, but there were parts of him scattered in the details, like the colours on the sofa throw, the seaside themed novelty magnets on the fridge, the inspiring quotes on the walls.  
Laurent was speaking but Nicaise couldn't focus on what he was saying. Probably wasn't important anyway.  
Instead, Nicaise looked around at the spiraling staircase with floating steps which lead to the loft, where Laurent and Damen's bedroom was along with two spare rooms which Laurent had converted into walk-in wardrobes. The entire second floor had a balcony with a glass railing which gave a scenic view of most of the main floor. The living area was easily twenry square feet at least, and lead off to the open-plan kitchen area. All of the counters were white marble with silver and gold spiderweb cracks worked in, and the cupboards were all polished black oak. It was a complete contrast to Richard's Manor, and the polar to most of the homes Nicaise had stayed in over the last two years. Somehow it always surprised Nicaise how nice Laurent's place looked, how open and cool it was.  
"Nicaise."  
Blinking, the boy looked up at Laurent, who was looking at him with that same Look in his eyes. It was as if he was worried but confused at the same time, which was of no use to Nicaise frankly.  
"What?"  
"You're allowed to unpack all your stuff, and we can go buy you more furniture and actually start decorating your room over the weekend if you feel up to it."  
Nicaise swallowed, nodded. Laurent hummed and lead him down the hallway to his bedroom. They passed the bathroom door, along with the large cupboard and storage room, before Laurent stopped in front of the bedroom door. He held out a small box which Nicaise took in his hand, while his duffel bag was clutched tightly in his other.  
"Sleep tight," Laurent said, before walking back up the hall. Nicaise waited until Laurent had went into his own bedroom and shut the door before shakily opening his own, walking in and shutting it firmly behind himself, throwing the latch and dropping his duffel and backpack on the floor. The room was large, almost larger than the Master bedroom upstairs; but it looked bigger due to how few thibgs were in it. Two piles of books along the right wall, a bed against the left, and a desk with a chair. The walls were all bare and the blinds were basic. Idly he wondered why Laurent hadn't already redecorated this room for the sheer hell of it.  
The box in his palm was small, and Nicaise opened the lid, picking up the small key chain lying in the black velvet. _"Welcome home"_ was engraved on a dog tag next to the key to Laurent's penthouse.


	2. This better be a joke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise gets a nasty surprise in the form of bad news about his crush, and decides to try to forget his feelings instead of dealing with hem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up for Nicaise being useless af and implied underage stuff

  
**(2 years later... roughly)**

****

Fucking hell.  
Nicaise repositioned his arm. Still wrong. He twisted his wrist. Nope. Tilted his hand back. Better. Turned his head slightly more to the left - perfect. He tapped the button, holding the stick perfectly still in one hand; the other was placed underneath his pillow. This was an art that he had spent years perfecting. Ten seconds and over three hundred quiet buzzes later, Nicaise looked up and took his phone off of the selfie-stick, sitting up as he quickly combed through the new photos.   
He deleted fifty before taking his time going through the remaining two hundred odds, filtering it down to a hundred and twenty. The next twenty minutes were spent carefully analysing each one to decide if it was The One or not, and deleting the ones that didn't live up to his standards. That left him with five Ones, and he picked the third. When he opened his Instagram app, he had close to a thousand notes and another fifteen privet message requests. Quickly scanning through the likes, he answered a few comments, liked a few others, ignored the whiney ones, smirked at the Thirsty ones and headed to his DMs. Five of them were people asking if he was real or a fake, three asking for his dick, four nudes and three saying how much they admired him. Peasants.  
Nicaise uploaded the photo he had finally settled on, captioned it with _**#iwokeuplikethisinmydreams**_ and scrolled through his feed while his inbox predictably pinged.  
His alarm rang five minutes later, _Bubblegum Bitch_ echoing through the speakers. Nicaise swiped it off, before throwing his phone on the duvet and getting out of bed. Six AM. First period started in two hours, which was plenty of time to get ready and arrive on time.  
Forty minutes later, Nicaise ran mousse through his curls while blindly grabbing for his hairdryer. _Born to Die_ was blasting on his record player as he finished his hair and started getting dressed. He hated his uniform, but at least he looked good in it.  
"How many times do we have to tell you to turn your music down in the morning?" Damen asked as Nicaise walked into the kitchen.  
"How many times do I have to tell you I need it loud enough to hear over my blow dryer?" Nicaise returned as he grabbed a banana out of the fruit bowl on the counter.  
Damen flipped him off and Nicaise smiled sweetly.  
"Don't stay out late tonight," Damen said as Nicaise twirled the banana between his hands, debating whether to eat it the now or at the bus stop.  Eating a banana in public was always  fun.  
"Why not?"  
When Damen hesitated Nicaise looked up, quirking an eyebrow when he saw Damen actually looked nervous.  
"Nikandros is coming over and he'll be staying here for a week," Damen hedged and Nicaise focused  on not dropping the banana.  
"So?" Nicaise forced out. Luckily Damen seemed too nervous to notice the hitch in his voice. Whatever. It was probably just another crack. Just because it happened at the same time Nikandros had came up in the conversation didn't mean it had anything to do with him. Fuck.  
"He's got some news, and he's going to tell Laurent and Auguste tonight.  Laurent knows what it's about and said you should be here when he tells them."  
"Why? What is it?"  
"You'll find out tonight," Damen sighed before noticing the clock above Nicaise's head. "You're going to miss your bus."  
Nicaise checked the clock on his phone before cursing and hurrying for the door, grabbing his blazer and bag off the back of the sofa.  
"Nik will be here at half four, so be home by then!" Damen called as Nicaise shut the penthouse door, running for the elevator and pressing the "down" button as he skidded on the polished floor. The woman who got out of the elevator frowned at him, and it was only as he frantically pressed the "G" button and glanced up to see why the doors weren't closing yet that Nicaise recognised her. Jokaste was stunning, but her age was starting to show. Still, she was nowhere near bad looking.  
"Hey," Nicaise breathed.  
"Late for school?" she asked. Somehow she always sounded like she knew what Nicaise was going to say and wasn't impressed by it.  
"No, just decided to go for a sprint before catching the bus," he replied. She huffed through her nose and walked towards Laurent's apartment, and Nicaise lost sight of her as the doors shut and the lift went down. As soon as the opening was wide enough Nicaise slipped through and made his way across the foyer on the ground floor, half-waving to the security guards as he pushed on the revolving door.  
He walked quickly to the bus stop but hesitated as he passed Starbucks. He hadn't gotten to eat his banana, and he had five minutes before his bus was due. Fuck it.  
As he walked into the shop, Nicaise noticed his favourite barman was on. Perfect. Nicaise got in line, idly scrolling through Instagram and checking Snapchat while he waited.  
"Just the usual," Nicaise said, shouting slightly to be heard over the breakfast rush. Jason nodded, glancing at him before ringing up his order and grabbing a cup.  
Three minutes later, Nicaise looked up at Jason's voice.  
"Nicky!"  
Thy never got his name right but who cared, really? Nicaise handed his money over, simultaneously grabbing his cup from Jason.  
**_"You're about to miss your bus"_ ** was scrawled on the cup and Nicaise swore as he ran for the door, groaning when he saw his bus pulling back into traffic down the street.  
Bloody perfect.  
Sighing, Nicaise traipsed over to the bus stop, leaning against the panel and sipping his latte. That bus was never early any other day.  
_"Stall for me"_ he texted, playing with his phone while he waited for a reply.  
_"Why????"_  
_"Missed the fucking bus"_  
_"You know we were meant to be in fifteen minutes early today? Haen said so yesterday"_  
Fuck.  
_"Obviously not. Just tell him I broke my leg"_  
_"Or your jaw"_ Skylar replied and Nicaise rolled his eyes. Yes, tell their religious nut of a teacher that he had broken his jaw. The stories would be great; he'd have another notch on his belt by lunch.  
A car pulled up to the bus stop and Nicaise flipped the driver off.  
"Fuck off, creep," he said.  
"Ouch," came the reply and Nicaise looked up.  Auguste was looking at him with mock hurt on his face. "Your silver tongue struck again," Auguste said and Nicaise groaned.  
"Say something useful or fuck off."  
"Hop in or be late," Auguste replied, already leaning over to open the passenger door. Nicaise  got in, slamming the door as he dropped his bag between his feet.  
"So what's the excuse this time?" Auguste asked as he pulled into lane.  "Gorgous girl, stunning stud or you just couldn't be bothered with school today?"  
"Coffee," Nicaise deadpanned.  
"Your latest kryptonite," Auguste said lightly and Nicaise debated jumping and rolling out of the car. Not worth the scars, he decided.  
"Don't make pop culture references, Gus - you'll hurt yourself."  
"And that show of concern for my wellbeing must have stung."  
"Excruciatingly."  
Auguste grinned and Nicaise quickly turned the radio up to stop him from speaking again. At the next traffic light, Auguste turned the volume back down.  
Nicaise pouted but didn't argue.  
"What's Nikandros' big news then?" he asked instead, frowning when Auguste sighed. "What?" Nicaise snapped. "The way you and Damen are acting it's as if he's moving to kangarooland or something." He flopped back in his seat, but Auguste didn't correct him. Instead he said;  
"I know you really like him-"  
"Are you fucking serious?" Nicaise hissed, and he could feel himself beginning to sneer. "Tell me that's your idea of a sick joke."  
Auguste flicked him one of his Looks as they took another turn.  
"Why the fuck is he moving to Australia?"  
"I don't know where he's moving to, Nuca," Auguste said, quietly but firmly.  
"Why?" Nicaise repeated.  
Auguste sighed, seemingly giving up on beating around the bush. Fucking finally.  
"Remember when he signed up to the army?"  
"Yeah as a reservist," Nicaise said, trying to ignore how fast his heart was pounding.  
"They called him in. He's shipping out next Wednesday. Last night he signed his apartment over to Jo and Kastor, spent the night on their couch. He told Damen about it a fortnight ago, and he told Laurent so Laurent told me. I said we should tell you; Damen said you're mature enough for Nik to tell you himself. Obviously Damen doesn't know how much you like the guy."  
Nicaise stared at the dials on the radio as Auguste continued. "Laurent was going to tell you today after school before Nik gets there. I said you needed more time, he said he didn't want you distracted at school. Clearly that's all up in the air now though. But as far as Nikandros knows, Damen is the only one who knows what he's coming over to tell us tonight."  
"So, what?" Nicaise croaked. "That's it? He's off to a desert with a gun and he's gonna get his head blown off? Or he's gonna drown when his ship gets bombed?"  
Auguste shook his head. "I don't know what position he is - I don't know if he's going to be in the field or if he's just going out as a behind-the-scenes guy. But we're all seeing him off at the airport on Wednesday; you're getting the day off school."  
"How long?"  
"Maybe three years, at least. Five at most. They don't normally keep the reserves out any longer than that."  
Nicaise gulped. Distantly he knew he was crying. He hated crying.  
"This is why I told them to give you a heads up," Auguste sighed, and Nicaise choked on a gulp.  
"Why? Because you told them I'd have a fucking tantrum over him leaving? Cause you think I'm still a fucking baby?"  
"No," Auguste said, again with that fucking tone. "Because I know you're growing up and you really like him and you're still figuring out how you feel about a lot of things."  
Nicaise hiccuped, trying to catch his breath. This wasn't fucking happening.  
Auguste stopped the car but Nicaise barely noticed.   
The two of them were silent for a few minutes until Nicaise had calmed down enough to wipe his sleeve over his cheeks. Fucking weak.  
"Just promise me  you won't make him feel bad about heading out?" Auguste asked softly. "He actually seemed excited about it - according to Damen anyway."  
Nicaise swiped at his eyes.  
"Fine," he muttered, swallowing around the lump in his throat.  
"I'll pick you up after school," Auguste said quietly, and Nicaise glanced around, only just noticing they were idling a five minute walk from the school gates. Fuck shit fuck.  
"Yeah," he said as he grabbed his bag and pushed the door open.  He stood on the pavement with his bag swung over his shoulder until Auguste had turned the corner at the top of the road.  
Nicaise waited ten seconds before turning on his heel and walking back down the street, glancing around as he jogged across the road towards the corner shop, pulling his phone out and swiping until he pulled Skylar's chat back up.  
_"Ditching"_   was all he sent, before turning his phone off and ducking into the store.

  
...

  
"Isn't it too early to be drowning yourself in a heart attack?"  
Nicaise didn't bother glancing up from his lap and the rails in front of him. He heard her footsteps as she made her way up the cement stairs to where he was sitting outside the back door to the corner shop.  
"It's for a good cause," he muttered, taking another gulp of the energy drink.  
"Prawn cocktail?" Skylar asked as she knelt next to him. "Who died?"  
Nicaise snorted, but it hurt his throat.  
"My heart," he muttered.  
"Well that's obvious," Skylar said and Nicaise didn't need to look to see the pointed way she was staring at the large can in his hand and the empty one at his feet.  
Neither of them said anything else, and Nicaise heard and felt rather than saw Skyler sit on the cement block, swinging her legs over the edge and resting her forearms on one of the lower bars of the railing, mirroring him.  Nicaise tilted his head, resting his cheek on his wrist as he looked over at her.  
She was hot. Her hair was bleached beyond life with pink and blue streaks at the ends, and she had at least four peircings in each ear along with her nose and tongue. It should have made her look scary, but it just made her more interesting to look at.  
She always wore the same uniform as all the other girls in their year, but she made it look cool; her blouse was white but her bra was black lace, and the first four buttons were undone to show it off better. She had her blouse tucked into her skirt which was black, pleated and pulled up over the naval peircing Nicaise knew was there. Idly he wondered what bar she had in this time. Her legs were long and bare, not pale but not tanned either, just a healthy colour, all the way down to her knee-high black socks and black leather ankle boots. She stayed within the regulation enough to not get kicked out but out of it enough to be interesting.  
Nicaise dragged his eyes back up to her face only to see her smirking at him. It was too late to look away, and that was pretty pointless anyway.  He raised an eyebrow at her in return and she pursed her lips.  
"What do you want?" she asked, watching him. The sun grunted off the delicate silver hoops and studs in her ears as she rested her cheek on her wrist, the same as him.  
Nicaise looked away, over at the cityscape in the distance. He thought about Auguste, Laurent and Damen arguing about how mature he was. He thought of Nikandros leaving for five years. Or maybe he would die at war or be a cripple. Neither was an appealing thought. He thought of how helpless and lost he had felt less than an hour ago in the passenger seat.  
When Nicaise looked back at her, Skylar was still watching him with her lips pursed in a teasing smirk.  
"I want to forget," Nicaise said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bubblegum Bitch - Marina and the Diamonds   
> Born to Die - Lana Dell Ray
> 
> (Sorry if this is a mess I've not proofread it I just really wanted it up cause I've done it all on my phone so yeah sorry for typos and stuff)


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise embarrasses himself and then has a breakdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW FOR:  
> Implied underage drugs  
> Implied underage drinking   
> Implied underage sex   
> Panic attacks   
> Vomit   
> Alcohol and a lot of it   
> Violence  
> Bruises   
> Mentions of drugs, casual sex, alcohol, fights and suicide attempts, all underage  
> Bad decisions

"Where the fuck are you?"  
Nicaise frowned, looking around and trying to place where the voice was coming from. Skylar was sitting in his shirt on the sofa across from him, blowing plumes of smoke into the air between them. Her bubblegum lipstick was smeared and Nicaise vaguely remembered smearing it across her face. Had that been twenty minutes ago or two hours? More? Who cared.  
"Gussy wants to know where you are," Skylar said. Her voice sounded distorted. Nicaise giggled.   
"Gussy never swears," he heard himself say as he tried to sit up. When had he gotten on the floor?  
Skylar hummed, purple and black nails click-clacking as they hit his screen. A few seconds later she threw the phone on a sofa cushion and ground her cigarette out on the coffee table. Nicaise tried to sit up again, but then Skylar was sitting on him, stopping him.  
"Don't," she laughed. What was funny? "You'll get hurt."  
"You're the one that's meant to be getting hurt," Nicaise said. His tongue felt heavy and his mouth tasted of bubblegum and nicotine.   
"Really?" Skylar was still laughing. "You really think you can go again?"  
Nicaise tugged at her shirt - no it was his shirt - and she leaned closer to him. The silver crucifix she always wore hit his chin. It was cold.   
Nicaise grinned, distantly aware that he was giggling. Skyler kissed him, and he disappeared into a haze of smoke and colours and bubblegum and her laugh.

  
....

  
"He embarrassed himself and Nik."  
"You really didn't see this coming?"  
"Of course not; if I had don't you think I'd have said something to him sooner?"  
Two voices. Laurent and... someone. Who? Nicaise recognised his voice. Auguste? He sounded different than he looked.  
"Wait, did you see this coming?"  
"Kind of, yes."  
"How?" Laurent sounded pissed.  
"I told him-"  
"Are you fucking serious?" Royally pissed. Nicaise tried to go back to sleep but couldn't. Shit.  
"Laurent." Damen's voice.  
"When did you even get to talk to him? Just called him up and told him the happy news? Or were you at their hookup party as well?"  
"Laurent." Now Damen sounded angry. Damen was never angry. "Let him speak."  
"He missed his bus so I gave him a lift. He asked and I wasnt about to lie to him."  
Laurent groaned, and Nicaise could imagine him pacing. He was a pacer.  
"Laurent, you didn't see him. He was in tears, shaking, he looked like he was barely avoiding a panic attack. Honestly, I wasn't expecting him to be there when I went to collect him from the school. So I'm really not surprised he went and did that."  
Did that. Did what?  
"Wait," Damen said, quieter. "Why was he so upset?"  
The other two men were silent before Laurent laughed dryly. "Don't tell me you're that oblivious, Damianos."  
"Nicaise has a crush on Nikandros." Auguste sounded tired, like their conversation was exhausting him. It was exhausting Nicaise and he could only hear it.  
"What?" Damen sputtered. "No. No way." Silence. "Nik is twice his age - at least. No, more than that actually."  
"He prefers older guys." Skylar? She sounded closer to Nicaise than the three men.   
"But you two are dating," Damen said.  
Skylar scoffed. "No, we're fucking. There's a difference."  
"And getting high and drunk together as well as completely fucking up Nicaise's vanity. Why the fuck did you agree to him doing that? How do you think he's going to react when he sees it today?" Laurent wasn't pissed; he was livid.   
"He told me he wanted to forget. And then he told me he wanted cheered up cause he felt like shit. Then he decided he wanted something new. I only gave him what he wanted. He's a spoiled brat-"  
Nicaise groaned, trying to dissappear into the leather underneath him. Was that the sofa or the settee? Or the lounge chair?   
"Nuca?"  
Almost as soon as Nicaise opened his eyes, he regretted it. The light was bouncing off the white and silver walls. Fuck. His head hurt.  
"Don't sit up," Skylar said, putting a hand on his chest to stop him. "You'll hurt yourself."  
Nicaise squinted, trying to see her. When she came into focus he almost choked. Her neck and shoulders were littered with bruises, some clearly bites, some obviously hand or fingerprints and the rest were too layered on top of each other to be able to tell.  
"Fuck," Nicaise whispered.   
"Yeah, you did," she replied.   
Nicaise winced when he actually looked up at her face. At some point she had taken her makeup off, but hadn't covered up the bruises on her jaw and around her eyes.  
"I broke your fucking nose?" Nicaise choked, looking at the bandaid on the bridge of her nose.  
"Technically the table did, but you pushed me into it, so."  
Nicaise grimaced. "Sorry."  
Skylar laughed. "Fat good that does now."  
"Speaking of regrets," Laurent said as he stepped into view. Skylar leaned back, and Nicaise looked up at Laurent. He had a bucket and mirror in his hands but the mirror was pointed away from Nicaise. "Sit up."  
Nicaise sat up, feeling his stomach drop almost instantly and leant over the edge of the sofa, puking into the bucket. Or at least trying to. He couldn't see anything, couldn't breathe. It was almost like he was nine again and back at-  
"Easy." Laurent's cool hand was on his back, gently rubbing and patting. "Just let it happen, Nicaise. Don't try to choke it down."   
Nicaise tried to do as Laurent said - really tried.  
"You good?" Laurent asked gently as Nicaise tried to sit up straight a few moments later.   
Nicaise grunted, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. All he could taste was sour sugar and salt.  
Laurent held out a glass of water with powder in it. "Drink up," was all he said.  
Nicaise gulped the water down quickly, grimacing at the taste but not complaining.   
"Are you ready?" Laurent asked when he took the empty glass out of Nicaise's hands.  
"For what?" he asked.  
Instead of answering, Laurent held out the mirror. Nicaise took it, freezing when he saw his reflection.  
"No."   
Instead of caramel curls he had bleach blonde and pastel blue, pink, purple and green curls.  
"No, no, no, no - what the fuck?" He was standing, running and sliding as he tried to get to the bathroom door. It took three tries before he managed to get the handle to push down and open. When he saw his reflection in the mounted mirror Nicaise reeled back. This wasn't happening. This wasn't fucking happening.   
"Hey." Suddenly arms were around him and he was getting lifted up - up -   
Damen carried him back through, sitting him on the sofa again.   
"Yeah," Laurent said. "Didn't think so."  
Nicaise glared at Skylar. She knew how much he loved his hair. Why the fuck had she let him-  
"You asked me to. A lot. I done it to shut you up."  
Nicaise could feel himself sneering at her.  
"You should've just fucking knocked me out," he snarled.  
"It gets worse," she said, unmoved by his tantrum. Skylar held her phone out, and Nicaise reluctantly looked away from the blonde bitch and at the screen instead.  
It took him a second to recognise himself, stumbling around the elevator, giggling like a fucking elf. His hair was horrific. Shit.   
As he watched, the camera followed him out the lift, and then an arm - Skylar's arm - caught him before he could fall on the smooth floor tiles. They made their way up the hall, before Nicaise let himself into the penthouse.  
 _"I'm home!"_ His voice was high, and he sounded even worse than he looked.  
Laurent, Damen, Nikandros, Auguste and a few of their friends Nicaise vaguely recognised were all in the living area, but froze when they saw him.  
 _"What the fuck did you do to your hair?"_ Laurent asked.   
_"What the hell?"_ Nikandros choked.   
_"Oh, I'm not late am I?"_ Nicaise asked, stumbling again and waving Skylar off when she caught him.   
_"Nicaise-"_ Auguste tried to interrupt but Nicaise spoke over him.  
 _"I didn't miss Nikandros's big news, did I? That would be such a shame - too bad everyone here already knows. Damen really needs to learn how to keep a secret. Maybe next time."_  
Nicaise stumbled again, and this time Nikandros and Auguste caught him.   
_"You're staying here for a week, right?"_ Nicaise asked, looking up at a bewildered Nikandros.   
_"Yes."_  
 _"Then you should get a proper welcome,"_ he said before lunging forward.   
Nicaise watched, mortified, as he kissed a horrified Nikandros. Not even three seconds later Nik pushed him back, towards Skylar. He wiped his mouth, looking at Nicaise like he was a dog that had bit him.  
 _"What?"_ Nicaise laughed loudly. _"That's how you're meant to welcome peo-"_ He cut himself off, and the room was silent for a beat before he heaved, throwing up on the floor. Laurent and Auguste grabbed for him at the same time but he backed away, clearly trying to choke the rest of it back. Skylar grabbed at his arm but Nicaise whirled on her, and the camera fell on the ground.  
Skylar stopped it there and the room was silent.  
"After that, you kept puking but went into a panic attack," Damen said quietly. "You threw Skylar into the table and she broke her nose. I think all of us got puked on at some point."  
Damen paused, looking at Laurent as if he didn't know how to say the next part.  
"And you wet yourself," Laurent said quietly.  
Nicaise flushed, ducking his head even though he knew he was probably beet red.   
"Damen and Auguste got you changed after you blacked out, and hosed you down. I helped the others clean up the room. Everyone else went home after that - Nik is still in the guest bedroom, and Auguste stayed the night. He patched Skylar up as best he could."  
Nicaise rubbed his hands over his face.   
Fuck fuck fuck.   
They were all silent for a few seconds until Skylar clucked her tongue.  
"Look on the bright side, Nuca," she said. Nicaise glanced at her.  
"At least you didn't shit yourself."

  
...

  
An hour later, there was a knock on his bathroom door.  
"It's open," he called out weakly. He heard the door open and shut before light footsteps approached him. Laurent sat against the wall opposite him, and they were both silent for almost thirty seconds. Nicaise's hair was coated in a thick layer of cream and conditioner, but he doubted it would do anything.  
"I thought we were past this." Laurent didn't sound angry or upset anymore. "You'd been clean for almost eight months, Nic. From everything. No drinking, no drugs, no arrests, no midnight phonecalls to pay bail, no 3am texts to come pick you up from your latest hookup. None of it. And you've been doing so well at school, almost perfect attendance and records. You haven't even gotten into a fight at school, Nic. I thought we were really making progress."  
He just sounded disappointed. Tired. Somehow that made it worse than if he had been screaming.   
"When Auguste and Nikandros got here yesterday I thought you had just missed your bus home or gotten stuck in traffic. I defended you, stalled for you. For two hours. But when Skylar brought you in last night-"  
"Do it." Nicaise didn't realise he had said it out loud until Laurent paused. "Just fucking yell at me and get it over with. Or hit me. Or-"  
"I'm not going to do any of that, Nicaise. I never would. I'm not even looking at you. And punishing you would be pointless - you're already punishing yourself."  
Nicaise looked up from his lap towards Laurent. Sure enough, Laurent was sitting with his head tilted back and eyes firmly on the ceiling.   
"When she brought you in I was so scared. All I could imagine was that she was about to say you tried to overdose again, or that you'd broken something. I was terrified. And when I saw your hair... Nicaise you never touched your hair before, not even when you were at rock bottom. It was the one thing besides your eyes that you took pride in. But when I saw what you had done to it... I thought I'd lost you, Nicaise. I honestly expected her to say you had done something - something that would mean you wouldn't last the night."  
Nicaise gulped. He was crying again. But so was Laurent. His voice had faded to a scratchy whisper as he had been speaking.   
"I'm sorry," Nicaise choked. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."   
At some point, Laurent got up and left, shutting the door quietly behind himself. Nicaise didn't see him leave; couldn't see anything past his tears and the bruises lining his thighs. What the fuck had he done?

Almost forty minutes later, Nicaise stared at himself in the mirror. His hair was bleached beyond saving and there were at least three shades of blonde under the pastel streaks. Hickeys and other questionable bruises lined his neck, jaw, shoulders and were scattered down his arms. His lips were chapped and he had at least three shadows under his eyes. He looked like death.  
Shakily, he got dressed in a pair of Laurent's jeans which were almost two sizes too big for him and a hoody which had probably been Damen's at some point. He didn't bother putting anything through his hair; he'd conditioned it four times and done two masks in the shower. It was beyond saving.   
Nicaise paused before he opened the bathroom door. The doors to his bedroom and en-suite all had glass handles with a sapphire-crystal base. They were all painted a pastel blue but underneath was solid oak. His entire en-suite was lined with black and blue tiles in different shades and tones, giving a holographic look to the room while the toilet, bath and sink were sleek granite and marble. He had a fucking wet room instead of just a bathroom. His bedroom had been redecorated and designed three times in the last two years.   
And what had he ever done to show he was even remotely grateful to Laurent and Damen for taking him in, saving him from Richard? Gotten high and drunk, tried to kill himself twice, sneered and spat in their faces, demanded material things and expected to to get his own way like fucking royalty.   
He knew they should've left him in that Manor to die.   
Nicaise stopped by his bed and pulled on his owl slipper booties before quietly making his way out into the hallway. Damen and Laurent were talking quietly in the kitchen. Auguste and Skylar must have left.  
Sighing, Nicaise climbed up the spiral staircase and shuffled down the corridor, stopping outside the guest bedroom. He knocked twice, then waited.   
"It's open," Nikandros called and Nicaise opened the door, awkwardly standing in the doorway.   
"Laurent, what-," Nikandros cut himself short when he turned and saw Nicaise.   
"I'm sorry," Nicaise said before Nikandros could be polite or offended. "I know that isn't enough but I don't know what else I can say."   
Nikandros was silent before he sighed, leaning back in the armchair. The spare room was simple - Damen had chosen the furniture for it. A double bed, simple desk and swivel chair, a table and armchair were in the room, and the walls were a bright yellow like sunshine.  
"Do you even remember what happened last night?"  
"No," Nicaise confessed. "But Skylar showed me the video and then Laurent and Damen told me what happened after." Nicaise kept his gaze on Nikandros's feet; he didn't deserve to look up at his face.  
Nikandros nodded slowly. "I'm not going to lie, I was pretty mad and embarrassed. I really thought Damen was the only one who knew; I should've realised he would ask Laurent how to tell you. I'll admit I didn't think it through very well." He sighed. "I'm still mad at you, Nicaise. But I'm not going to hold last night against you."  
Nicaise blinked, his gaze flickering up to Nikandros's chest. "What?"  
"You were off your face and rightfully upset." Nikandros stood up and moved to just within arms length of Nicaise. "And you were having a panic attack. A pretty bad one, too. No one blames you for what happened last night. I really don't. I'm probably going to be upset about it for a little while but I'm not going to hold a grudge against you because of any of it."  
Nicaise gulped. "I understand," he said quietly. Nikandros paused before he held his arms open for hug.   
"Is a hug safe or are you going to try to kiss me again?"   
Nicaise flushed beet red, quickly hugging Nikandros before pulling away and hurrying back to his room and shutting the door behind himself.   
When he belly flopped onto his bed, he noticed his phone was vibrating slightly. Laurent had texted him a phone number - Nicaise googled it and smiled weakly when he saw it was a barbershop. It was quickly followed by "You've got the rest of the week off from school if you want it."  
Nicaise smiled weakly. At least one thing could be salvaged from this mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was listening to "My Medicine" by The Pretty Reckless for the majority of this chapter and yeah
> 
> If you want anything else tagged let me know


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise gets his hair sorted, meets someone who he can't ignore, and has a panic attack with flashbacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for -  
> Underage horniness  
> Thirsty Nicaise  
> Underage sex  
> Statutory maybe?? Idk - Nicaise and an older guys anyway  
> Panic attacks  
> Flashbacks  
> the Regent

Nicaise swiped his alarm off, sitting up in bed. He had uploaded an old photo and short video of Damen and Laurent being Dumb in the kitchen while Laurent had tried to teach Damen how to make an omelette. Emphasis on tried to. No way in hell was he posting a selfie with his hair like... like this.  
He didn't bother with a shower, there was no point when he was getting his hair done later. And he had already stayed in the shower over two hours the day before. He was clean enough.  
Almost silently, he turned his lamp on and took his eyeliner and fineline sharpie pen out of his bedside table. He probably didn't need the safety net of the eyeliner, but it was always a good precaution. Just in case his hand slipped or shook.  
Pulling the skin around his calf and ankle taut, Nicaise carefully drew on the numbers. 18 digits, 3 rows, 6 figures each. It looked like random numbers, and to anyone else, it was. Skylar had guessed it was the dates of his three favourite hookups. He and laughed her off and changed the subject; she still didn't know how close she had been.  
**260216 / 190718 / 041120**  
Once the numbers were written neatly, Nicaise swapped his eyeliner pencil for his sharpie and went over them carefully, taking his time. Once the ink dried, he quickly sprayed hairspray over the numbers and made his way through the penthouse. It was just after 5am, so Laurent would probably be getting up in the next ten minutes.  
Quickly and quietly, he took the pans out of the cupboard, eggs, bacon and black pudding out of the fridge, hoping the stove would behave today. Last time he had tried making breakfast for the others unsupervised, the smoke alarm had gone off. It hadn't been a good start to Laurent's twenty-first.  
Nicaise managed to fry the eggs and bacon and get them on the bread before Laurent came downstairs.  
"You're up early," Laurent remarked. "And... you're pregnant?"  
Nicaise frowned over at him. "What the fuck?"  
"Pregnancy cravings is the only explanation I can come up with as to why you're making bacon and black pudding. Or are you not vegetarian anymore?"  
Skylar had convinced Nicaise to become a vegetarian over a year ago when she started on a major health-craze and never really stopped. At first Nicaise had gotten addicted to the weightloss drinks and had barely ate 1200 calories while exercising for more than two hours a day for six months before Laurent had put his foot down. Since then Nicaise had stopped the extreme fitness and dieting but still had at least one smoothie a day and ran at least twice a week. Or tried to.  
"It's not for me," he said as he turned the black pudding. "It's for yous three."  
Laurent raised an eyebrow at him. "That's very generous and out of character. I still think you're pregnant. Any bloating?" Nicaise flipped him off; even if he hadn't been standing at the stove in nothing more than his boxers and one of Damen's hoodies, he definitely didn't have a bloated stomach.  
Laurent started making the coffee while Nicaise finished the black pudding and added it to the bread, squirted barbeque and tomato sauce over it all before folding the pieces and putting them all on plates.  
Laurent took his and Damen's with their drinks while Nicaise followed him upstairs and went along to the spare room. He kicked the door twice since he didn't have any hands free.  
"Come in," was the muffled reply and Nicaise carefully opened the door and walked in.  
Nikandros frowned at him. "Nuca?"  
"I made you breakfast," he muttered.  
"Thanks," Nikandros said slowly, sitting up and taking the plate and mug from Nicaise.  
Nicaise turned to leave but stopped when Nikandros spoke again. "Are you doing anything about your hair or are you sticking with it?"  
"You're kidding, right? I've got an appointment to get it fixed later today."  
Nikandros nodded. "And there's the Nicaise I know. I was worried for a minute there."  
Nicaise rolled his eyes and left, shutting the bedroom door firmly behind himself.

...

"Nicky, what happened?"  
Nicaise sighed as he stopped in front of Micheal, his preferred stylist.  
"My friend done it when I was drunk," he said.  
Micheal shook his head. "Traitor. Come on, get in the chair and we'll decide how to salvage what we can." Nicaise put his hoodie on the sofa and made his way over to the styling chair, sitting down as Micheal folded his arms over the back and leant down so he was closer to Nicaise's eye level in the mirror. He ran his hands through Nicaise's hair as he thought.  
"If I take all the split ends off and dye it black that'll cover it all, or a dark inky blue. Or I can cut the coloured parts off and tone the bleached parts so that they're even and then either give you more of a Malfoy look or we can talk a decent pastel colour."  
"Whichever will have less effect on my roots and natural colour," Nicaise decided.  
Micheal nodded. "Malfoy it is."  
Nicaise walked over to the washing chair, closing his eyes as he lay back. Micheal chatted about his latest holiday and sister's wedding before sending Nicaise back to the styling chair. Nicaise took a quick snap of the counter in front of him captioned _"getting a new style"_ and a photo of his feet on the footrest, uploading it without a caption but tagging the store instead.  
While he waited for Micheal to come back, Nicaise glanced around the shop in the mirror and froze. A guy was sitting on the sofa, probably only a year or two older than Nicaise. He was wearing marble-grey skinny jeans, black BKs with batman insignias printed on them, a long asymmetric hoodie and subtly studded wrist cuffs with layered rubber wristbands. His hair was a dark caramel, almost a light chestnut and worked so fucking well with his sun-kissed skin it had to be natural. Nicaise forced his gaze away and back to his phone screen before he could get hard checking the guy out. He really didn't need that today.  
It was fine. It really would be. The guy was probably just in for a trim, and would probably be gone in fifteen minutes, twenty at most. It was fine. And the chances of him even noticing Nicaise or sitting next to him were slim, since there were five empty styling stations and two of the other stylists were chatting - one of them would probably get him into a chair out of Nicaise's view any second now. Then he would be gone and Nicaise would be able to get his heart rate back down to normal human levels. And Micheal ought to be back soon enough, too. It would be fine. It was fi-  
"Bloody hell what the fuck did they do to your hair, Pastels?"  
Why the fuck did the guy have to have a hot voice? Nicaise forced himself to look up nonchalantly and raise a bored eyebrow at the guy, who was now looking right at him.  
"My friend done it when I was drunk." Nicaise was quite proud of how even and cool his voice sounded, even to his own ears.  
The guy snorted. "Some friend - she also the type that gets you high then says to play chicken at the train station?"  
Snorts weren't attractive. At all. They shouldn't be allowed to be. Ever.  
Nicaise rolled his eyes. "Nah, that's usually me," he retorted. The guy grinned. He had braces but somehow still had a gorgous smile. No. Train tracks on teeth weren't hot. In any universe. Especially not this one.  
"Guess you two are perfect for each other. Though for her sake I hope she doesn't dye her own hair."  
"She does - it's worse than this," Nicaise said, gesturing vaguely to the mess of curls on his head.  
"That's possible?" His derisive tone shouldn't have sent a jolt of heat straight to Nicaise's stomach. And it didn't. It didn't. No way. It had just happened at the same time he had opened his mouth. That was all. Coincidence, not causality.  
"She used to be a redhead but bleached it when she was high then added colours to cover the parts she had missed. It makes this look like a pro job."  
The guy whistled. "That's a hell of a train crash." He licked his lips and Nicaise gulped. If he suddenly had a raging hard-on it had nothing to do with the idea of the guy going down on him. Or fucking him. Or choking him. Or-  
Nicaise realised he'd waited too long to reply and now the guy had an eyebrow raised. "Yeah, she is." His voice sounded wrecked. Fuck.  
The guy smirked, not-so-subtly tilting his head as if to try to check Nicaise out. Shit fuck.  
Micheal chose that moment to walk back in the room, laughing. "Leave the poor kid alone."  
"Why? He's cute when he's flustered," the guy replied.  
Micheal shrugged, taking his place behind Nicaise's chair and partially blocking the guy from Nicaise's view.  
"Your funeral," he said to the guy's reflection.  
The guy raised his eyebrows.  
"How so?"  
"Nicky's got a silver tongue," Micheal said easily before pausing and tilting his head at Nicaise in the mirror. Shit. He looked almost as wrecked as he felt. Fuck. Normally he was good at hiding it. "Or he usually does, anyway."  
"Looks like it's turned to lead," the guy remarked, smirking at Nicaise in the mirror. "Anything else turned hard and heavy?"  
"In your dreams." It didn't come out half as convincing as Nicaise had wanted it to. The guy grinned.  
Micheal wrapped the black sheet around Nicaise, briefly blocking the guy completely.  
"If you're done tormenting the poor kid, I've got a lot of surgery and magic to do," he said. The guy shrugged and turned to one of the other stylists, who put him in a chair out of Nicaise's view. Thank fuck.  
Micheal raised an eyebrow at Nicaise and Nicaise glared. Or tried to. Glares never looked as intimidating when he was turned on. Micheal smirked and shrugged, then started babbling about other clients that had been in since the last time he had seen Nicaise a month ago. Nicaise kept his eyes on his phone rather than his reflection - he didn't want to see his curls getting chopped. He let Micheal maneuver his head as he wanted while scrolling through Instagram. His photo already had over fifty likes and a few comments. He pulled up Skylar's messages.  
_"I'm coming over later"_  
_"Why???"_  
_""Because I'm suddenly worried about my grades.. why do you think"  
"Cause you're suddenly interested in me for my personality"  
"You've got one of those?? Where did you buy it?? Must have cost a fortune"  
"Fuck you"  
"Yeah that's the plan"  
"You're too easy"  
"The hypocrisy"  
"What's got you hot this time? If you say your brother's friend G owes me £50"  
_ Nicaise paused. Usually he fucked Skylar when he was upset or Nik had gotten him too close without realising he was doing anything. But for once it wasn't either of them. _  
"Eyecandy"  
_ It wasn't until he'd hit 'send' that he realised he hadn't been this keyed up in months. Sure, Skylar got him horny and she was an easy lay, but that was it. But Nicaise hadn't been this turned on since he had gotten clean. _  
"I'll come blow you at the stylists - you don't even have to move"  
_ Nicaise gulped. The idea of Skylar blowing him was almost a turnoff; her mouth wasn't her best asset. But the idea of the guy getting himself off while watching Nicaise get blown...  
Nicaise shifted in his seat slightly. _  
"Har har - how's world history?"  
_ Instead of a reply in messenger he got a snap from Skylar. He opened it - Mr. Jordan was staring at Georgie, sighing and shaking his head. The video moved to a shorter one of Skylar pulling her skirt up enough Nicaise could see she probably wasn't wearing underwear. The caption was just _"better if you were here"._  
Nicaise swiped it off before it could run out, quickly pulling messenger back up and sending a quick response before locking his phone and risking a glance up at the mirror. Micheal raised an eyebrow at him. "That girl's going to be the death of you," he said as he combed Nicaise's hair slowly, likely checking he had gotten all the pastel parts.  
"She'll be her own death before that," Nicaise muttered.  
"Silver tongue still not back yet?" Micheal said quietly, laughing when Nicaise flipped him off.  
Five minutes later while Micheal was mixing the toner in a pot on his work station, Nicaise saw the guy from earlier walk past his mirror and over to the desk. His ass shouldn't look that good. Especially not in a hoody that covered it. It wasn't fair. But he was leaving. Nicaise would never have to see him agai-  
The guy leant on the back of Nicaise's chair, resting his chin on top of Nicaise's head. He hated being short. Laurent had promised he would get a growth spurt before he was sixteen but it really was taking its time.  
"Yes?" Nicaise asked expectantly. It sounded almost how it was meant to.  
"Starbucks or Costa?"  
Nicaise blinked. "What?"  
"Didn't know you were hard-of-hearing as well as har-"  
"Starbucks," Nicaise cut in. The guy nodded as if he had expected that answer. Before Nicaise could ask why, the guy was already walking away, the door swinging shut behind him.  
"What the fuck?"  
Micheal laughed at him in the mirror before he tilted Nicaise's head forward and began painting the toner through what was left of his hair.  
"That guy's such a prick," Nicaise muttered.  
"Oh so yous know each other than," Micheal said.  
Nicaise scoffed. "Fuck no."  
"Shame," Micheal said. It sounded like he was trying not to smirk. "Yous would be good together."  
"I doubt it," Nicaise said. "I'd end up strangling him."  
"I would've thought you're more of a choker than a strangler, but to each their own."  
Nicaise rolled his eyes but couldn't help the image that flashed through his mind almost as soon and Micheal had spoken. Skylar keeping her word for once and blowing Nicaise in the styling chair while the guy now and forever known as Prickhead Gigantithon forced Nicaise's head back and fucked his throat raw.  
Nicaise tried not to shift in the seat this time. Micheal cleared his throat but Nicaise swore he heard the man laughing.  
Nicaise glanced up when he heard the door open again, almost jolting when he saw Prickhead Gigantithon was back, this time with two cups from Starbucks. One looked like iced mocha with cream and caramel while the other was mixed berries and raspberry sauce.  
The guy sat on the chair next to Nicaise, holding the berries one out.  
When Nicaise didn't immediately take it he looked down at the sheet that was still covering Nicaise.  
"If your hands are too busy, I can always hold it for you while you drink."  
Nicaise glared, moving his hand out from under the sheet and snatching the cup from the guy. He took a mouthful, refusing to react to how cold it was.  
"Thirsty?" The guy was smirking that Smirk again.  
"Fuck you," Nicaise said, but coughed when he breathed due to how fucking frozen the drink was. He switched hands.  
"I got them to put extra ice in yours," the guy said as he got comfortable in the seat. "Figured you could use the help cooling down."  
Nicaise imagined the guy getting hit by a truck. Somehow he knew Prickhead Gigantithon would somehow still make it look goo-  
No. No, he didn't need another link between horror and hard-ons. That wouldn't help anyone.

 

  
...

Almost five hours later, Nicaise walked up Skylar's driveway. Micheal had taken almost two hours to finish getting the tones of his hair all even and related before they had spent close to half an hour debating the pastel colour. Eventually they had agreed on a cold blend of pastel blues and purples as undertones with some platinum silver in the mix to make it slightly holographic. That had taken the rest of the afternoon and part of the evening. Nicaise had spent over half that time uncomfortably hard courtesy of Prickhead Gigantithon. Luckily the guy had left around five, giving Nicaise enough time to calm down before he'd had to stand up. Thankfully the walk to the subway had been enough of a distraction, but the tube had been crammed with more than a few hot guys. Nicaise had wound up spending the twenty minutes on there with his eyes firmly glued to the nearest window.  
Nicaise knocked on the front door, smiling politely when Skylar's father opened it a moment later.  
"Nicaise," he said. He never sounded happy but at least he didn't sound disappointed or angry. Nicaise knew the man liked him; he'd sucked him off enough times to win him over. Not that Skylar knew that.  
"Sir," Nicaise greeted him, nodding slightly. "Is Skylar in her room?"  
"She's been waiting for a while," Gordon said as he let Nicaise in, shutting the door behind him. "We were expecting you in time for dinner."  
"Sorry, my hair took longer than expected," Nicaise shrugged. Gordon nodded.  
"Blonde and blue suit you," he said, running a hand through Nicaise's hair. It felt strange, not having curls past his ears. He idly wondered if it would still feel good when someone pulled it.  
"Thank you, Sir," Nicaise said.  
Gordon took his hand away and Nicaise tried not to miss it.  
"Melissa is out for the evening. If either of you need me, I'll be in my study."  
Nicaise thanked the man again before making his way upstairs, not bothering to knock before walking into Skylar's room. The walls were baby pink, decorated in pictures of Skylar and her friends as well as a few professional shots. A bookcase lined the far wall but instead of books it was full of movies, porn and sex tapes and more photos of her. Her desk was scattered with homework, more than a few bottles of perfume spilled over textbooks and a pile of clothes was on the chair. Skylar was sprawled out on her large bed on top of a towel, naked and clearly airdrying after a shower.  
"You know you could have waited on me," Nicaise said as he tugged his hoodie off.  
Skylar shrugged. "Not my fault you took too long. It was a really nice shower too," she said as Nicaise continued undressing. "You would've enjoyed it."  
"Yeah?" Nicaise muttered as he climbed onto the bed. Skyler smirked at how hard he was already.  
"Someone's eager."  
"Like I said; eyecandy."

Nicaise bit Skylar's shoulder, trying to focus. She was hot. Hot as fuck. And a really good fuck. But something was wrong. Or something just wasn't right. She was the same as normal, and he knew he liked it, but still... she was too soft, too squishy, too round - her hair was too blonde instead if brown and her eyes were too blue instead of deep forest gree-  
"Nuca," Skylar yelped, and Nicaise came back to himself with a start, pulling away. Fuck.  
"Sorry," he said. Her shoulder was bleeding slightly.  
Skylar glared at him. "What the fuck is with you? You're so out of it tonight."  
He bit back another apology.  
"What's wrong with you?" Skylar whined, rubbing her hands over his chest. It was only then that he realised he was getting soft, and fast. But he couldn't tell her the truth - that he didn't actually want to fuck her, that he wanted to be getting fucked instead, or getting a really thick juicy cock shoved down his throat. She hated that he was bi.  
"Nothing," he lied. "I'm just cold."  
Skylar rolled her eyes as she climbed off of him, walking over to shut the window.  
"Guys are such babies," she muttered, walking back to the bed. "Better? Or would you rather a hot water bottle and blanket and some fluffy socks?"  
Nicaise grabbed her waist and pulled her onto the bed, moving so he was on top.  
"You're such a whiney bitch," he muttered into her neck as he closed his eyes and imagined someone else.

Nicaise lay on his back, panting and trying to gulp the air down to his lungs. Skyler kissed her way along his jaw, still straddling him. At least her breathing was just as heavy as his.  
"Lemme up," he murmured. Skylar whined, tightening her legs around his hips and Nicaise rolled his eyes. This was her main downfall; she always got too attached after sex. Every time.  
"Sky," he muttered, rolling them over and pulling away from her before she could get her legs back around him.  
"Nuca?" She sounded hurt. Or worried. "What is it? Did I do something wrong? What's wrong with you?" Or just insecure as fuck.  
Nicaise shook his head, quickly pulling his jeans back on.  
"Sky, shut up."  
His throat felt empty, his tongue felt too light without something to hold it down.  
"Is that it? A quick couple of fucks and you're leaving again?"  
He felt like he was going to be sick.  
"I'm just going to the bathroom," he muttered, getting out of her room before she could whine any more. He made his way to the bathroom, opening and shutting the door loud enough for Skylar to hear before quietly walking further down the hall, staying close to the wall to avoid the creaky floorboards, until he got to the last door on the right. Walking into the room, he sighed quietly and shut the door behind himself before making his way over to the large mahogany desk.  
The desk was almost the size of one of Laurent's leather sofas. It was neat and tidy, with just a small pile of notebooks and notepads on one end with a half-full penholder, and a laptop opposite them. There was a pile of papers in the center and Gordon was leaning over as he wrote... whatever it was he wrote on paper. He worked in a newspaper and magazine publishers, but he also dabbled in politics, so it could be anything, really.  
Gordon looked up when he heard the door shut.  
"Nicaise," he said. Nicaise gulped. "Are you two alright?"  
Nicaise stopped in front of the desk. Bookcases lined the walls along with trophy cases and a chaise lounge. Everything was either solid oak or designer leather.  
"Sir, I..."  
Gordon put down his ink pen.  
"Is Skylar ok? She's not hurt?"  
Nicaise shook his head. "No, Sir, she's alright. It's just..." He hadn't thought this through. His brain was completely blank. His mouth and throat were too empty. Fuck he was going to be sick.  
"Nicaise?" Now Gordon looked worried. He was a good looking man in his mid forties, with grass-green eyes and sleek golden brown hair down to his shoulders which he always wore in a low ponytail. He was in smartly cut and folded trousers with his shirt tucked in and still had his tie on, if a little loose. Clearly he hadn't bothered to get changed out after getting off of work yet.  
"Nicaise DeVere."  
Nicaise jolted, looking up. Gordon was standing behind the desk now, moving around it, leaning back against it less than a foot from Nicaise.  
Nicaise gulped and shakily kneeled, looking up at Gordon pleadingly.  
When Gordon realised what Nicaise wanted he tried to take a step back, seemingly forgetting he was leaning against his desk.  
"Nicaise..."  
"Please." Nicaise hated how much his voice cracked on that one syllable. He lowered his gaze. "I think I'll be sick if I don't."  
Gordon sighed. Neither of them moved for almost ten seconds.  
"Close your eyes," Gordon said lowly and Nicaise obeyed. He let his head get tilted up, opening his mouth and relaxing his jaw when the man's fingers lightly tapped just below his ear. Nothing happened for two long seconds and then Nicaise felt two large fingers in his mouth, easing over his tongue and making it flatten then bevel before they tickled over the back of his throat. Nicaise could feel himself relaxing as Gordon pushed his fingers further down Nicaise's throat, his other hand taking a gentle but heavy hold of Nicaise's neck, stroking gently as if he were stroking himself through the skin. It wasn't as good as the real thing but it was just enough to take the edge off.  
Nicaise sighed softly, feeling himself going lax in the older man's grip. He'd forgotten how much he liked this. How much he needed this.  
Gordon lightly scissored his fingers just past Nicaise's tonsils and Nicaise went pliant.  
"Swallow," the man murmured and Nicaise obediently swallowed. He felt Gordon slowly sliding his fingers back over Nicaise's tongue, back out his mouth, running them over his lips and chin and edges of his mouth before pressing them back to his lips.  
"Keep your eyes closed."  
Nicaise stayed exactly how he was for almost a minute until he heard Gordon grunt; the command to open his mouth again came almost ten seconds later. When he did, he felt Gordon put his fingers back I'm his mouth and then he tasted salt and musk and his whole body went warm and fuzzy.  
"Clean me," the man commanded lowly and Nicaise obeyed, happily sucking and licking his fingers and then the rest of his hand clean.  
He heard the rustle of material and zip, before Gordon lightly tapped Nicaise on the jaw again.  
"Open your eyes," he said. When Nicaise looked up at him, he man hardly looked ruffled. Whereas Nicaise was willing to bet he looked completely wrecked in comparison.  
"Fuck," Nicaise breathed.  
Gordon took a deep breath before he spoke. When he did, his voice was almost even. "Get out."  
Nicaise blinked. "What?"  
"Get out or I'll end up fucking you and neither of us are ready for the consequences of that."  
Nicaise gulped, standing up and quickly walking out the door, back to Skylar's room. When he got in he didn't bother shutting the door. She was sitting on the edge of the bed smoking.  
"You took your time," she remarked.  
Nicaise grunted, tugging his hoody on and looking around for his socks and shoes. He bunched his boxers up and put them in his hoody pocket.  
"Where the fuck are you going?" Skylar squawked.  
"I don't feel well, I'm going home," Nicaise said, barely pulling his other shoe on before he was back out the door and hurrying down the stairs. Skylar shouted after him but he ignored her. He could already feel his stomach dropping and his mouth getting overly wet. Fuck fuck fuck.  
He half-ran off the porch and down the driveway, barely making it ten steps along the street before he doubled over and heaved. Only bile came up. Fuck. Nicaise tried to breathe through it, like Laurent had taught him to so many times.  
He gagged for another minute or so before shakily standing up and stumbling down the street, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.  
White-hot panic coursed through him. That had been too close. Far, far too close. Shit. Shit shit shit shit shitshitshitshitshi-  
"Nuca?"  
Nicaise blinked, frowned. It took him a few seconds to realise he had his phone against his ear. He took it away, looked at the screen; it was already sitting at almost two minutes.  
"Nicaise, answer me." Auguste's voice.  
Nicaise put the phone back to his ear.  
"Uhm."  
"What's wrong?"  
Nicaise sniffed. Was he crying again? Fuck. "Can - can you come get me please?"  
"Where are you?"  
"At the Cross Section after Skylar's street."  
"I'm on my way. Nuca, stay on the phone with me, ok?"  
Nicaise gulped. "Ok."  
"Sit down somewhere safe. Now." Nicaise could hear the sound of Auguste's keys, his door, footsteps on stairs.  
Shakily, he moved to against the wall and slowly sat down with it against his back. "Done."  
"Good," Auguste breathed. Footsteps again. A door. Gravel. His car door. The engine purring.  
"Gus?"  
"I'm right here, Nuca."  
Nicaise hiccuped. "Can you please tell Laurent I'm sorry?"  
"Why?"  
"Because I'm probably going to start scaring him really bad again." He was definitely crying. He couldn't even see his knees in front of him.  
"Oh, Nuca," Auguste sighed. And then: "I'm not even ten minutes away, alright? Stay exactly where you are." Nicaise nodded even though Auguste couldn't see it. "Can you count for me?"  
"Huh?"  
"Count out loud. The higher you go, the faster I'll get there."  
Nicaise let out a shaky breath. "Alright," he breathed. "One. Two. Three..."  
He kept counting, listening to the sounds of Auguste's car and the radio he could faintly make out. It was probably BBC R1.  
"Thirty eight. Thirty nine. Forty. Forty one..."  
He was cold. And warm at the same time. At least he wasn't horny anymore. Or-  
"Nuca."  
"Uhm... fi-si-.. fifty six. Fifty seven. Fifty eight..."  
He was still Thirsty. So fucking Thirsty. But it had nothing to do with Prickhead Gigantithon this time. It was Gordon. And Ri-  
"Nicaise."  
"He's still here," Nicaise choked.  
"Who?" And then; "Nicaise, who's still there? I can't see you, remember? Use your words."  
Nicaise gulped, trying to find air to breathe, to talk.  
"Richard."  
"Nuca, he's in jail. He isn't getting out any time soon. You're safe from him."  
But Nicaise shook his head.  
"I'm not," he sobbed. Was he saying it out loud? He didn't know. Didn't care. Couldn't. "He's always here. He poisoned me, he's never going to leave. He's never going away."

 

...

Beep - Beep- Beep- Beep -  
Nicaise frowned, opening his eyes. Everything hurt. And he was exhausted.  
"The fuck?" There was a needle attached to an IV drip in the back of his left hand and a peg attached to the middle finger on his right hand. Two machines kept beeping or maybe it was one machine beeping for two different things.   
"Nicaise?"   
Laurent's voice. Nicaise frowned, turning his head. Why did it hurt so much?   
Laurent and Auguste were on his right, Laurent in a chair close to the bed and Damen pacing near the wall.  
"He's awake?" Nikandros's voice from the left. Nicaise tried to turn his head to see the man but it was too much effort. He was probably standing by the window if there was one. If there wasn't then he was standing st the wall wishing there was a window. He liked windows.  
"Nicaise." Laurent again.  
"What?" Nicaise's tongue felt heavy and his whole mouth was dry.   
"Are you ok?"   
"Where the fuck am I?" Nicaise muttered, trying to look around again but stopping when his head throbbed. "My head?"  
"What's the last thing you remember?" Auguste's voice.  
Nicaise tried to swallow. Couldn't. There was nothing to swallow. His mouth felt like sand.  
"You were meant to come get me," he said slowly, trying to think. "From Skylar's. I was waiting at the Cross Section."  
"What happened at Skylar's?" Laurent asked gently. "We called her and she said you had left in a rush."  
Nicaise gulped and almost choked on how dry his throat was. His throat...  
"Fuck," he whispered. The beeping sounds got louder and quicker.   
"Hey." Laurent was kneeling on the bed, one hand on Nicaise's shoulder and the other on his chest. "Breathe, Nicaise. You're not in trouble, no matter what happened."  
A hand - Nikandros - held a plastic cup of water and Nicaise drank, swallowing twice before it was taken away.  
"Uhm," Nicaise said eloquently.   
Laurent looked over to Auguste and Nikandros's voices.  
"Give us a minute?" he asked quietly. They left, with Damen muttering something about coffee that Nicaise didn't catch. The door shut behind them and then it was just Nicaise and Laurent in the hospital room, the machine beeping in the background, gradually getting quieter but still staying faster than it had been when he had woken up.  
"Tell me what happened, Nuca," Laurent said gently as he got comfortable sitting on the edge of the bed. "From the start."  
Nicaise took a breath. Another. Then he started from the barber shop, telling Laurent about Micheal and Prickhead Gigantithon and the Starbucks and Skylar's messages and what he had imagined. He told Laurent about the flirting and the eyes and the hair and the jeans and that God fucking ass and voice. He told him about leaving and heading over to Skylar's and the hot guys on the train. But when he got to the part about Gordon opening the door and greeting him, Nicaise faltered.   
"Easy," Laurent murmured.  
Nicaise sighed. "I'm sorry. You're really not going to like the rest."  
"Tell me anyway."  
Nicaise chewed his lip. Laurent waited him out.  
"When I always slept around," Nicaise started, "I blew Gordon a few times. Maybe more than a few. He never forced me, it was always my idea. He stopped as soon as I said no, always made sure I said yes before he done anything. But it was only blowing him and jacking him off he never even fucked my throat or got me off or told me to get off. He never fucked me. He always said neither of us were ready for that."   
Nicaise risked a glance up at Laurent. His expression was unreadable but his eyes had so many emotions in them. Nicaise lowered his gaze again before continuing.  
"When he let me in he kinda ran his fingers through my hair and that turned me back on. Then I went up to Skylar and started fucking her but I kept getting distracted cause I realised I didnt want to fuck I wanted to get fucked and she got whiney so I just imagined - uhm I just imagined someone else. After, she got clingy. And I was still really Thirsty. My throat felt - it felt too empty. Like I was going to gag from how empty it was and I knew I would actually be sick if it stayed empty. So I went to find Gordon."  
Nicaise kept his eyes on the papery white sheet as he told Laurent about asking to blow Gordon and then the fingers and the cum and the cleaning. "Then he said I had to leave or he would fuck me. That's when I went back to Skylar, got my clothes and bolted. I threw up in the street. I don't even remember calling Auguste."  
Laurent was silent. Nicaise waited him out.  
"Do you remember what you said to Auguste on the phone?"  
Nicaise nodded.   
"What did you say and what did you think while you were saying it?"  
"I asked him to come get me. Then I started panicking because it had been too close to - to before. Then Gus made me calm down and count while I waited. Then I thought about how I wasn't horny anymore but was still Thirsty and I started to panic but Gus tried to get me to focus on counting again then I thought about how Gordon's older and - and - then I remembered what he - he-"  
"Ok," Laurent said, gently holding Nicaise's hand and tracing patterns n it to bring him away from the edge of another panic attack.   
"I don't remember what happened next," Nicaise said in between breaths.   
Laurent waited until Nicaise had gotten his breathing under control before he spoke.  
"Auguste heard what you said. Then he heard you going into a panic attack and then you dropped your phone and went silent. When he got to the Cross, you had passed out but your body was starting to go into shock. You were completely unresponsive so he brought you to A&E. They hooked you up to vitals and done some basic checks, before deciding you had concussed yourself after passing out due to hyperventilating. They don't think there's any lasting damage done by it but they couldn't be sure until you woke up. That was a few hours ago."  
Nicaise swallowed and then tried to look over for the water. Laurent held out a bottle with a straw instead and Nicaise took it.  
"Auguste told me you had said you were sorry," Laurent said a few minutes later. "And that you thought you were going to start scaring me again. What did you mean?"  
Nicaise tried to think of how to phrase it without sounding like a whore.  
"When I started getting clean you said I could only hook up with two people at most and I wasnt allowed to sleep around until I had my head on straight again. Obviously I went with Skylar. But I told myself I wasn't allowed to hook up with a guy until I could think straight again. I guess I thought if I could control how Thirsty I was then I could do better?" He played with a loose thread on the sheet. "I don't know. But I hadn't hooked up with or even gotten another guy off since I got clean. And then Prickhead Gigantithon made me way too Thirsty but I didn't even realise how Thirsty until Gordon and then I realised how much I miss it. How much I need it."  
Laurent sighed.  
"Nicaise, you're bi as all hell. You've known that since you were twelve. And it's no secret you prefer guys. So why stick with Skylar?"  
Nicaise shrugged. "I thought it would help me stay clean."  
"Ok. Now how about the truth?"  
Laurent was good at telling when people were lying while trying not to lie.  
Nicaise gulped. Laurent waited.  
"Because he- he said - said- he said." Nicaise scrubbed at his face. "Fuck," he croaked.   
Laurent rubbed circles and infinity signs into the back of Nicaise's hand while he waited. He knew how hard it was to talk about - about Richard.  
Nicaise held his other hand out. "Phone?" he whispered. Laurent handed his mobile over. Nicaise pulled up a notepad app and started typing.   
Two minutes later he handed the phone back, watching as Laurent read the words Nicaise couldn't bring himself to say out loud.  
Laurent's face twisted into an angry snarl before he was able to hide it. When he had his calm mask back on his eyes still betrayed him. They always did.  
"Nicaise, none of that is true. He lied to you. A lot. Everything here that he said about you is bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit."  
Nicaise was crying. Again. Fucking fuck shit fuck.  
Laurent stayed with him all night, sleeping in the armchair. All Nicaise could think of was the sentences he had typed into Laurent's phone along with the chilled feeling of phantom fingers on his jaw and in his hair and tapping his temple;  
 _"No girl could ever love you - why would she? Girls don't want broken fuck toys. And you know you don't like women. You'll never love a boy. When you see biys you'll want to hurt them. You'll only want men, like me. Every cock you choke on will taste like mine. You're mine. All mine. Even if that cunt nephew of mine steals you away, you're mine. No one else will ever want you. Because I'll always be with you. In here. Forever."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs I've been listening to while writing this -  
> I miss the misery (Halestorm)
> 
> Of you want anything else tagged let me know


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise starts healing again and Nikandros leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for   
> Nicaise and implied / hinted at attachment issues   
> Unhealthy food

Disney always cured everything.   
_Ben & Jerry's_ made everything better.  
Blankets made everything safer.  
Disney, _Ben & Jerry's_ and blankets could cure heart disease.  
Nicaise lay curled up in the corner of the sofa with the footrest pulled out, in two blankets and a onesie with a pint of cookie crumble icecream and a spoon. He was watching _Bambi_ , his fourth Disney movie of the day so far. It had been all 3 of the _Lion Kings_ before this, and there was still the rest of the list to go through on Netflix.   
Everything still hurt, especially his head. Laurent had tried to stay with him but had been forced to go into work for a meeting so had left Nikandros and Auguste in charge of making sure Nicaise didn't spontaneously combust while he and Damen were gone.   
Nicaise had wanted to spend the day asleep but Auguste had banned him from his room, sentencing him to spend the day on the sofa instead. Nikandros had been polite all day so far and Auguste had been giving Nicaise his Looks at every opportunity he got. It was hellish enough Nicaise was almost tempted to call Damen and beg him to come home early just to end the torture. Almost.  
On the upside, at least he had an excuse for not going to school or doing his homework.  
Nikandros brought him snack and watched the rest of _Bambi_ while Auguste started preparing dinner. Then the three of them watched _Bambi 2_ and _Mulan_.   
Nicaise fell asleep part way through _Lilo and Stitch_ , only waking up when Auguste picked him up. He fell asleep again by the time they were at the bottom of the hallway.

...

Nicaise stared at the clock on his phone, watching the hands tick. It was 4:30am, and Nikandros's plane was meant to leave at 7am sharp. He knew Laurent and Damen were driving them all to the airport. Auguste was meant to be meeting them there. That was meant to be around 6am so they had time to get a coffee before boarding time. And then Nikandros would be gone for four years.  
Nicaise turned the volume of the music up in his headphones.  
The last few days had passed in a blur of movie marathons and food and ice cream.   
Then suddenly it had been 1am and Nicaise had realised Nikandros would be gone in less than seven hours. He hadn't slept since.  
Sighing, he lay on his stomach and continued staring at the clock on his screen.

  
...

  
Rain made it impossible to see anything but blurry lights out of the car window. Laurent was driving while Damen was on his phone in the passenger seat. Nikandros was sitting next to Nicaise in the back, a backpack on the seat between them with his other two bags and suitcase in the boot. He had tried to talk to Nicaise but he'd blanked the man, pretending to still have his music up full in his headphones.  
That had been half an hour ago.  
"I'm worried about him," Laurent said as they slowed at a red light.  
"I know," Nikandros replied. "I think we all are at this point."  
"What am I meant to do? He's going back to old habits because he's scared and upset, and I don't know how much of that will change after you leave."  
"Laurent, you're a great guardian brother to him; you got him clean." Nikandros glanced over but Nicaise kept his eyes on the blurry lights outside the glass, not giving any hint that he had turned his music off within sixty seconds of getting in the car and hadn't turned it back on.  
"It's just a schoolboy crush he's got; he'll be over me by the end of summer. Once he starts college he'll move on. You just have to hold out until then."  
"I hope you're right," Laurent murmured, sending Nicaise a worried look in the rear view mirror. "I really hope you're right."

  
...

  
_**"Seven AM flight from London to Vienna now boarding."**_  
Nicaise could hear his blood racing in his ears but he refused to let it show.  
Nikandros sighed, standing. Laurent and Damen stood with him. Nicaise stayed in his seat.  
Laurent hugged Nikandros, and Nicaise saw him say something quietly in Laurent's ear as he squeezed the smaller man's shoulder before they parted. Nikandros hugged Damen, slapping him on the back a few times before pulling away and squatting in front of Nicaise.   
"Don't I get a goodbye hug, kid?" He was smiling but Nicaise could see the hesitation in his eyes.  
Fuck it.   
Nicaise moved out his chair, hugging Nikandros tightly around his neck. He was probably choking him. Oh well.   
Nikandros hugged Nicaise, but it was obvious the man wasn't hugging him as tightly as he had the other two. Whatever. He didn't let go until Nicaise did, moving back to his plastic seat. The three of them watched as Nikandros walked through the gate and down the short hallway, three bags crossed over his shoulders and his suitcases trailing behind him.   
Nicaise turned his music back on, refusing to look out the window at the plane getting ready for take-off. He might actually lose it if he did.  
The car ride back home was silent, save for the music blaring in Nicaise's ears and probably hurting his ear drums. Who cared, anyway?

  
...

  
Somehow, the day stretched on far longer than it had any right to. Nicaise went to bed early, claiming to be tired after the early start rather than the fact he hadn't gotten any sleep and felt like he was dying inside.  
He kept his music on in his headphones until an hour after he heard Laurent and Damen go up to bed. That had been long enough.  
Shakily, Nicaise left his phone and got out of bed, quietly making his way through the penthouse and upstairs. He knocked as he pushed the door open, half-shutting it behind himself.  
"Guys?" His voice was small. He didn't care anymore.  
Laurent stirred, sitting up slightly to look around the room. He paused when he saw Nicaise hovering in the doorway with his arms around himself.   
"C'mere," Laurent said quietly, lifting the duvet. Nicaise hurried to the bed, crawling up between the two men and under the blanket.   
Laurent let him get comfortable between them before lying back down and closing his eyes. Nicaise fell asleep curled up with his back against Damen's and his head buried in Laurent's chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs -  
> Let it go (Frozen)  
> April Showers (Bambi)  
> Circle of life (Lion King)  
> Fifteen (Taylor Swift)

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as a HC on Tumblr and is now a fic... my heart doesn't know self-care ok let me live  
> (If you want anything tagged let me know)


End file.
